Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
