At least make sure they are 18
Why
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Randomize
