So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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