Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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