She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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