i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Randomize
