If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
You're a waste of cheezeits
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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