we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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