I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
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