Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
