i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
