So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Randomize
