I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
