fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
that is very illegal...i love you.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
