I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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