all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
