erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
