Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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