the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize