i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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