Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
