Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
