k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
