There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
