Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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