You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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