love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Betty ford says i'm here all night
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
