Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
