white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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