I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
