My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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