covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
