now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
