One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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