did you get engaged???
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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