Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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