I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
