Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
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The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
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