I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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