yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
