Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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