Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
