Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
