Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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