I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize