ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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