ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
