you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
the condom got lost in my hair
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
It's shark week go big or go home
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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