awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
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