Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
