Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
