I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
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I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
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in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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