i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
