dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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