Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
