Where did you get a picture of my penis
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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