I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
