New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
