I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize