So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
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