Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Also, beer. Big fan.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
