I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
