Dude my mom stole all your condoms
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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