the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
