Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I want to be your penis for a week.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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