Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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