We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize